Death! Goodbyes! Unrequited Love!

Hello, tonight's post is sad. 

Since, 2005 I have lost a few close friends and I think about them daily. I think about the way they died and never being able to say a proper goodbye.  I think about what I would have said or maybe even should have said. I think about how my life has been a series of good-byes since I graduated from high school in 2005. Always thinking each goodbye wouldn't be the last one. But, the last one for awhile. Until, we meet again and that one wouldn't be the last goodbye, either. I always hoped there will be years of "Goodbye for now, I hope I get to see you again soon. You should come visit sometime. Just drop me a line." But, as the concept of living 3,000 miles away from my hometown becomes more of a reality. I begin to think about the number of goodbyes, I have left in me. How many more can I handle before, I start to breakdown every time I drive to the Fly-Away or the airport. Will I say goodbye so many times that I just become desensitized to the whole process and I can say my goodbyes without any tears; let alone a blink. The only thing I dread about my wedding in June is saying goodbye to everyone, at once. It's going to be a huge sucker punch no matter how much I brace myself for it. I hope I can handle it.

The other thing I think about when I think of my friends who have passed is, unrequited love. I will never be able to express the amount of love I truly felt for them and all that I want to thank them for.  Then I think about who they loved and who they carried a flame for. Did that person ever know my friend loved them madly? Point being, if you love someone let them know. Your car could overheat on a busy highway and catch fire; and you will never see that person again.

When you're writing tonight or tomorrow or in the near future think about this. But, make that phone call and tell someone, every secret you don't intend on taking to the grave with you.

In the meantime... I hope you live long enough to at least read my next post. But, if you're on your death bed please have someone push it to the top of a steep hill and ride it down. Shit, you only live once. Might as well have some fun.

Thank for reading.

-PV

In case you need cheering up.